Review: hush, hush

I’ll admit, I’m guilty of buying books sometimes because I’m drawn in by their pretty, shiny covers. hush, hush is one of those books – if the cover was any shinier, it’d be a dead ringer for a newly waxed BMW.

After digging into the first few chapters of hush, hush, I felt the stress start to set in. Granted, it’s not bad for a first foray into young adult fiction on Becca Fitzpatrick’s part , but I couldn’t help drawing parallels between hush, hush and… well, almost EVERY other book with a high school setting (a certain Twilight series springs to mind). Picture this: seemingly average, out-of-the-popular-loop girl with her quirky best friend and the sudden appearance of a dark, mysterious guy with an unfathomable past. Sounds familiar? If so, you’re in for a lot of déjà vu. This book throws together a lot of well-worn clichés that run endlessly from one to the next.

The story revolves around Nora Grey, the typical “normal” girl in high school with problems of her own – the foremost being Patch Cipriano, the typical bad boy rebel that she has to sit next to in class. Drama, drama. Nora finds herself inexplicably drawn to Patch and his emo-loner fueled, passive aggressive flirty ways as she tries to figure him out. As it turns out, Patch is a fallen angel who initially intended to use Nora as a means to become human, but changed his mind when he gradually began to fall in love with her. Wow, true love? In less than a week? Omigod!!1one

Not to say that the plot is entirely unoriginal. Fitzpatrick’s concept of angels and their different ranks (guardian angels, archangels) had its interesting parts. The actual story itself, however, was quite possibly the most boring thing I had to sit/lie through. Fitzpatrick throws in a slew of romance clichés, which include the main character being forced to share a dingy motel room with her hot crush due to a thunderstorm, or the main character’s best friend getting into trouble with the already suspicious antagonist guy with Mary Sue Nora Grey coming to her rescue – the tiresome list goes on. Oh, and there’s a rather pathetic sort of love triangle involving Nora, Patch, and Elliot, the nice, amiable transfer kid who later turns out to be the evil dude’s lackey.

While Fitzpatrick attempts to inject life and likability into her characters, most of them fall flat. Vee Sky (Nora’s plus-sized best friend) is as annoying as she is predictable, and Patch, despite being the male lead, exudes a revolting brand of sexuality, with his tight jeans and self-inflicted angst and whatnot. Elliot, the one person who seemed remotely worth rooting for, turned out to be a raging, abusive alcoholic.

… Don’t get me started on Nora.

A visit to Fitzpatrick’s site has revealed a SEQUEL to be released in 2010. That’s right, more terribly written scenes of sexual tension between Nora and the ever-lovable (sic) Patch. I’m just… overwhelmed with anticipation.

If you’re trying to get your high school/paranormal fiction fix, I highly suggest you get it somewhere else. hush, hush somehow sucks and blows simultaneously, a feat I had otherwise thought impossible before I laid hands on this book. I was initially half-inclined to add the ‘parody’ tag to this review and laugh it off as an excellent spoof of young adult paranormal fiction, before further poking around Fitzpatrick’s site suggested that she was actually being serious.

For now, ‘crap’ will have to do.

See also: Crescendo

Plot/originality: 2/5

Characters: 1.5/5

Writing style: 2/5

Total score: 5.5/15

Review: Once Dead, Twice Shy

Once Dead, Twice Shy is a continuation of Madison Avery’s story from the the novella “Madison Avery and the Dim Reaper” from the Prom Nights from Hell anthology. Kim Harrison spins a unique, compelling story about death reapers – about time we got some new material, considering how we’re being buried in piles and piles of crap-tastic vampire fiction. (What have you done, Stephenie?)

You don’t have to read “Madison Avery and the Dim Reaper” to read Once Dead, Twice Shy, though it will make some of the characters a tad more familiar. Madison Avery finds herself under the tutelage of light reaper Barnabas, a fallen angel of the light sent to remain by her side in training her skills as a newfound reaper. The problem, though? Madison’s dead – a soul without a body, existing without the need for food or sleep. The only thing keeping her tangible is a dark amulet which she wrested from evil pirate!reaper Kairos/Seth, who’s on the warpath for his amulet back.

Madison must fend off attacks from the black wings and Kairos while protecting Josh, who seems to have a target sign tattooed onto his back. Through the fast-paced action, Harrison manages to blend in some Madison/Josh romance (which I definitely did not see coming – I kind of expected some Madison/Barnabas, boo). Madison is a misfit at her high school and acts as such, though not in a stab-your-eyes-out-annoying kind of way. The characters were quirky, with some new additions to the story adding to the zest of things. I especially loved Grace, Madison’s spunky guardian angel (Guardian, Reaper-Augmented Cherub, Extinction Security, or G.R.A.C.E.S. Harrison is an acronym genius!) and Nakita, who turns out to have quite the personality.

Plot twists galore near the end, which was a pleasant surprise. Ron, Madison’s higher-in-command, turns out to have an agenda of his own, whereas Kairos meets a bitter and quick end when his plans to kill Madison backfire. Madison finds out that the lines between good and evil and blurred, and that nothing is quite as black and white as she initially imagined. The story ends on a happy note, with Madison, Barnabas, and Nakita starting the new school year together. Barnabas, shaken in his beliefs from Ron’s betrayal, decides to follow Madison in her new role as the dark time-keeper. While not explicitly mentioned, it’s hinted that Barnabas and Nakita have some cupid sparks going there, which will make for an interesting read in future books. Josh/Madison too, though that’s pretty much a given by now.

I absolutely loved this book. Harrison’s take on the idea of life, death, and paranormal beings involved in maintaining the delicate balance between the two will have you on the edge of your seat. Highly recommended!

See also: Prom Nights from Hell

Plot/originality: 4.5/5

Characters: 4/5

Writing style: 4/5

Total score: 12.5/15

Review: Prom Nights from Hell (anthology)

The Exterminator’s Daughter by Meg Cabot (14/15)

Prom Nights From Hell opens with one of Meg Cabot’s short works. If you’re unfamiliar with Meg Cabot, all you need to know is that she’s the creator of the Princess Diaries series, which was mostly targeted at a tween audience. The Exterminator’s Daughter is a light-hearted, enjoyable piece of urban fantasy fiction – Cabot transitions smoothly from humorous teenage girl angst to a sharper, wittier heroine effortlessly, whilst managing to keep the storyline engaging.

In The Exterminator’s Daughter, teenage protagonist Mary is intent on assassinating her best friend’s latest vampire beau with a crossbow (in a crowded Manhattan nightclub, no less!). What she doesn’t expect is help coming from Adam Blum, fellow schoolmate and resident jock/popular guy, who’s intrigued with the idea of things that go bump in the night. The story switches perspectives from Mary to Adam and back again, which was refreshing on Cabot’s part (characters from her previous works tend to ramble). While short, the piece is highly entertaining and shows real promise for a series adaptation – let’s keep our fingers crossed!

The Corsage by Lauren Myracle (12/15)

If you enjoyed reading The Monkey’s Paw by W. W. Jacobs, you’ll enjoy this horror adaptation by Lauren Myracle (author of the controversial ttyl series). Frankie’s a gal who’s determined to have her longtime crush Will ask her to the prom, but he seems to be biding his time. Frustrated, she decides to employ the powers of a creepy corsage attained from an ever-so-cryptic fortune teller. I think we all know by this point that cryptic fortune tellers never bode well in any sort of story – death and disembowelment with a cackling “I told you so!” echoing in the background usually follows a few scenes later – but this one takes the cake. Madame Z keeps her uterus in a jar on the shelf.

Ahem. Shelf uterus aside, Frankie decides to put her three wishes to good use by – what else? – wishing for Will to take her to the prom. What she doesn’t know is that every wish comes with a terrible price. Will dies a grisly death by falling from the watertower (“I told you so!”) in the midst of spray painting a message asking Frankie to go to the prom with him. Overcome with grief, Frankie makes her second wish: for Will to come back to life. You’ve probably read enough urban fantasy to know that the resurrection of a rotting corpse 13 days gone is never a good idea.

The ending was hella disturbing, though I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Not for the faint of heart.

Madison Avery and the Dim Reaper by Kim Harrison (14/15)

Madison Avery and the Dim Reaper kicks off the story to the Madison Avery series. The story opens with Madison at the prom, playing uncooperative date to her geek friend, Josh. When she ends up getting snubbed by Josh, Madison ends up in the arms of sexy pirate Seth (it’s a themed dance, mind. Just in case you lot go off on some swashbuckling, Jack Sparrow tangent after reading that bit), who’s got an agenda of his own – killing her.

Madison wakes up soon after in the morgue, only to meet with Lucy and Barnabas, members of the Reconnaissance Error Acquisitions Personnel Evaulation and Recovery: REAPER. As it turns out, Madison was killed before a time, and her abrupt death isn’t something she’s all too happy about. She ends up running into evil pirate Seth once more, and things go downhill from there. Through an unexpected turn of events, Madison manages strike a deal and remain in the human world, but she’s officially dead – no more food and sleep for her. Her story continues in Once Dead, Twice Shy.

Kiss and Tell by Michele Jaffe (9/15)

Miranda Kiss (what’s with all the “M” protagonists in this anthology?) has unique superpowers – of which includes superhearing, which means that she can eavesdrop on conversations without even trying, detect changes in heartbeats, and overhear her longtime crush… well, crushing her hopes. Ouch.

Miranda’s job as a Luxury Transport chauffeur lands her in a pickle when she picks up troublesome 14 year old Sibby Cumean, who’s somehow determined to kiss any (and I do mean any) guy she can possibly get her hands on. Things do pick up after a bit: Sibby turns out to be some sort of prophet and there’s some prom crashing  and kidnapping excitement in it all, but it just wasn’t enough to keep me consistently interested. While Miranda was a likeable heroine, her interactions with Sibby were throughly painful to read (mostly because Sibby just annoyed the hell out of me) and the teenspeak acronyms casually thrown in every few pages gave me a headache. Who on earth talks like that, honestly?

Hell on Earth by Stephenie Meyer (13/15)

Finally, a story that unfolds in its entirety at the prom. Hell on Earth features half-angel Gabe Christensen, a guy at prom whose date seems to have abandoned him in pursuit of greener pastures. He finds himself inexplicably drawn to demoness Sheba (in her human disguise), who’s intent in wreaking havoc and bringing misery to everyone at the prom. Cue fisticuffs, arguing, cheating (in a non-academic sense), wardrobe malfunctions, and bad music – all the makings of prom hell.

Hell on Earth was an entertaining read – it’s nice to see Meyer branching out into other aspects of urban fantasy. The stark contrast between the goodness of Gabe’s angelic soul and Sheba’s vindictive, damned one certainly drew me in. The road to love between a demoness and an angel is rocky one, indeed.

See also: Once Dead, Twice Shy

Review: Dark Angel (Night World)

Dark Angel is the fourth in the Night World series of books by L.J. Smith. It was released… a long time ago. Long before the whole paranormal realm frenzy caught on, actually. Most of the Night World books so far have been short and sweet – it has nothing on epic length novels like Angels & Demons and The Lord of the Rings and well, pretty much most of the books out there. Each Night World book focuses on a fresh pair of characters, so don’t be getting yourself attached, now. :p

Dark Angel is centered around Gillian Lennox, a chick with some serious self-esteem issues. Her life changes when she dies after falling into an icy creek, and she meets her very own guardian angel. The guardian angel (“Call me Angel,” he says. Pfft. You can’t make me!) brings her back to the land of the living and takes it upon himself to change Gillian’s life by making her pretty and popular and oh my god your hair is like so awesome!!one sans the gay.

Of course, under his tutelage, Gillian manages to come out of her shell and gets all she’s ever wanted – the makeover, the in-crowd friends, and the guy (who is lame, but I’ll get to that later). Meanwhile, it seems that the guardian angel has an agenda of his own; he’s intent on making Gillian come into her witch heritage by swaying her towards dark magic. Somewhere in the midst all of this witchery Gillian decides to grow a spine and realises that her beautiful guardian angel/fashion consultant/social secretary is not as he seems – he’s just some dead guy related to her that’s got some unfinished business.

I wouldn’t call this a bad read, though it’d certainly get a higher score if the guy Gillian crushed on wasn’t such a wuss. That’s right. David Blackburn is on my hit list. He is a shallow, useless piece of crap that rebounds like nobody’s business. He is so utterly unimpressive that I just may be impressed with how unimpressive he is. Whyyy does he not die in this series. Why? WHY. (spoiler alert: he makes a cameo in another NW book. GAH.)

I do like Dark Angel, though. It was my first ever Night World book – quite possibly my first paranormal book, ever – and it left its impression. I’d definitely recommend this as a fluff book (there’s no real violence in it to speak of, really), so it’s pretty decent as train/bus reading material.

See also: Secret Vampire, Daughters of Darkness, Enchantress/Spellbinder, The Chosen, Soulmate, Huntress, Black Dawn, Witchlight

Plot/originality: 3.5/5

Characters: 3/5

Writing style: 3.5/5

Total score: 10/15