Review: Clockwork Angel

For those with a masochistic streak running through your veins: this book will undoubtedly satisfy.

I did try to be objective when I picked up Clockwork Angel, the first book of Clare’s newest Infernal Devices trilogy. Let it be known that I kept my mind wide, wide open, despite the fact that I knew it was the prequel to Clare’s craptastic Mortal Instruments trilogy. Writing is a skill that only gets refined with time and practice, eh?

… Well, probably not in Clare’s case. I expected only to be mildly entertained (at most) by her latest foray into urban fantasy. Clockwork Angel, however, was so unimpressive that I may actually have been impressed by how unimpressive it was.

The entire story reads like a very long, convoluted piece of fanfiction with stilted, predictable characters popping up every now and then to remind the readers of their presence. Characterization, in particular, bothered me to no end – while it is apparent that Clare attempted to inject some personality into them by inserting some “witty” repartee here and there, it completely failed to resuscitate the flatlining story. The main character (Tessa Gray) is a blatant Mary Sue that will doubtlessly trick younger, inexperienced readers into “relating” with her predicament. In fact, Clare’s heroines seem to be largely interchangeable; no-one would bat an eyelid if Clary (the protagonist of the shitfest that is The Mortal Instruments trilogy) strolled along and took Tessa’s place.

No one.

Plot-wise… there is little to say other that the fact that it was entirely unremarkable. The story draws on numerous parallels with The Mortal Instruments: Shadowhunters, Downworlders, the Clave,  and so on. The story opens with Tessa being trapped under the instruction of the Dark Sisters, forced to live in prison-like conditions until Will Herondale comes to her rescue. An American girl trapped in Victorian London, Tessa/Clare describes the landscape as droll, dark, grimy… not exactly the most flattering picture, and Clare seems to deliver very forced “English” mannerisms to all her characters. Tessa plays the malleable, self-sacrificing heroine to the snarky (surprise, surprise), dashing hero, and it has to be said that her complete lack of personality serves her well as a cardboard cutout protagonist. Super awesome ability of being able to inhabit ghosts of the past? Check. Self-deprecating “I’m plain and won’t ever be as pretty as the other side characters, but I’m actually too critical of myself” complex? Check. A noble mission? Check. Astonishing heritage? Check (Spoiler time: GET OUT OF HERE SHE’S A WARLOCK)

The plot only gets more convoluted and painful as the story meanders along. One can only imagine the yawn-fest that follows the decidedly uninspiring first chapter (one can only imagine because I refuse to recount every excruciating plot “twist” that Clare whips out), but I will tell you this: it’s one hell of a cure for insomnia. Clare’s pretentious writing style will either have you snoozing or frothing at the mouth.

Do not read. Seriously. Every copy of Clockwork Angel sold will only spur Clare to reach a higher level of mediocrity (if such a thing may be imagined). Remember: Every time someone gushes about how awesome and well-written this book is, a fluffy kitten dies.

See also: City of Bones, City of Ashes, City of Glass

Plot/originality: 1/5

Characters: 1/5

Writing style: 1.5/5

Total score: 3.5/15